


Love and Attention

by luvsbitca



Series: Paper Rings [2]
Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Angst, Anniversary, Billy Hargrove Needs Love, Billy Hargrove Needs a Hug, Fluff, Love Confessions, M/M, Steve Harrington Loves Billy Hargrove
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-19
Updated: 2020-07-19
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:02:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25382047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luvsbitca/pseuds/luvsbitca
Summary: It was an anniversary, or at least that's what Steve told Billy, so Billy dressed up a little for Steve but was deeply disappointed about Steve's reaction until Steve explained exactly why he didn't look at Billy as much as he wanted to. Occurs during 'First Comes Darkness' timeline.
Relationships: Billy Hargrove/Steve Harrington
Series: Paper Rings [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1838149
Comments: 2
Kudos: 65





	Love and Attention

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by the song Dress by Taylor Swift. Hope you enjoy.

**Love and Attention  
** by luvsbitca

_5 months after their first kiss_

Billy fluffed his hair before he climbed out of the car and started strutting into school. He smirked at a couple of the chicks standing at the doors but continued on, ignoring their attempts to hold his attention. He collected his book for English and then waited, hip cocked, against Steve's locker. Steve walked in a few minutes later and smiled at Billy, before he moved the blond out of the way and opened his locker.

Billy was disappointed. Very, fucking disappointed.

During the day, Billy kept trying to get Steve's attention but Steve kept acting exactly like he normally did. Like Billy hadn't spent an extra twenty minutes getting ready, like he hadn't bought these jeans with money he could have spent on his car, like Billy wasn't looking so hot everyone in school wanted him.

Billy knew he shouldn't want more of Steve's attention because it was dangerous but he craved it, wanted it on him all the time. He wanted to be able to bring Steve to his knees, see his distraction, see Steve's…affection the way he heard Steve had shown his love for Nancy and he craved the idea of basking in Steve's attention and affection in public the way he tried to in private.

It was dangerous and it was stupid and Billy knew it could end so very badly for Steve, and for him. He prided himself on being smarter than this but he still always took a little more time with his appearance when he knew he'd see Steve and he had put in more effort today because Steve had made a stupid comment about it being their anniversary. Billy had scoffed, and Steve had looked hurt for a moment before he looked away and hid it. Billy had felt like a tool so he'd put in a bit of extra effort, had stayed up too late with his headphones on to make Steve a mixed tape and had it wrapped in the pocket behind his seat waiting for tonight when they would go to the arcade with the dweebs.

But Steve wasn't even interested. He looked at him the same as normal, he wasn't even affected by how good Billy looked and Billy fucking hated it. He couldn't resist the pull of the other man, would look at him all the fucking time. If Steve walked down the hallway, Billy was tracking him. Billy knew his schedule, knew when Steve would be in a bad mood because one of his classes was hard, knew when he'd be in the mood for a joke because he fucking liked history class like the dork he was. Fuck, Steve had ruined Billy and Billy couldn't even get the guy to notice how good he looked.

By the end of the day, Billy was frustrated and in no mood for anyone or their shit.

"You're late," he hissed at Max when she slid into his car.

"No, I'm not."

"If you're late after the arcade, you're walking home."

Max frowned at him as he threw the car into drive and burned out of the parking lot.

Max jumped out of the silent car as soon as they arrived at the arcade.

Billy drove straight out to the quarry and lit a cigarette, lighting the next off the one in his mouth. The plan had been to hang out at Steve's empty house so he hoped he would be alone until he could pick up Max and go home. But six cigarettes in, he saw the fucking beemer driving up. He thought about leaving but now he wanted to fight with Steve; wanted to make the other man feel as shitty as he did.

"Are you okay?" Steve asked, when he arrived and settled next to Billy against the car.

"I'm fine," Billy said, not looking at him, suddenly not wanting a fight, not wanting anything at all – he was so fucking tired.

"Max said you were in a mood."

"Max needs to learn to keep her mouth shut."

"You seemed okay this morning but you certainly don't seem like everything is okay now."

"I'm fine, Harrington."

Steve sighed. "Okay, fine." Steve leaned back against the Camaro and looked out at the water.

Billy wanted Steve to leave and he wanted him to keep pressing, to make Billy feel better but that wasn't Billy's life and even if the last few months had made him think it might be different, years of proof to the contrary made Billy wary. He just wanted to go back to this morning and change the day so he could have been at Steve's place right now, pinned to the couch and with the taste of Steve in his mouth, the smell of him everywhere and his weight holding Billy together. He was just so fucking tired of sneaking around and wanting more than he could ask for and loving Steve so much it fucking hurt and needing Steve to show him…words meant shit but with Steve's hands on him he could believe. But they lived in fucking Hawkins and he couldn't have Steve's anything on him for so much of his fucking day. He wished he could just find a bubble for them where he could let himself go whenever he wanted instead of stolen fucking moments with the fear of his father finding out always in the back of his mind. Fuck, he just wanted to be a normal fucking guy who could make out with his boyfriend anywhere he wanted. He hated Steve for making him love him so much and he felt like he would drown if he didn't have Steve to hold onto. Fuck, he just…he just wished he could turn and say…anything, anything at all to Steve and make this all go away. Instead, he smoked his way though the packet of smokes with Steve just out of reach.

An hour of silence later, Billy threw the wrapped cassette at Steve and drove away from the parking spot.

Steve looked down at the wrapped package in his hand and swore. He jumped into his car and drove quickly to the arcade, just in time to watch Billy peeling out of the parking lot and swore again.

It was almost midnight when his bedroom door creaked open.

"Billy?" Steve asked, sitting up.

"Yeah," Billy said quietly.

Steve turned the light on and let out a long breath when he realised Billy was unhurt. "I like the tape."

"I can tell," Billy said, nodding at the boom box that was quietly playing on the table.

"What did I do wrong?" Steve asked.

"Nothing," Billy said, moving over to the bookcase and thumbing through the books. Billy had been thinking about this moment since he'd been allowed to escape to his room, and now he was a fucking chicken shit who couldn't just tell his boyfriend…that he was a weak fucker who needed…who needed Steve. Fuck, he was such a fucking chicken.

"Then what's wrong?"

"You said it was our anniversary," Billy hedged.

"You said it wasn't a real anniversary."

"I made you a gift."

Steve smiled. "I got it."

"I dressed up for you today," Billy mumbled.

"You looked good," Steve said.

"You didn't notice," Billy argued. "You didn't look at me any different."

"I didn't think I was supposed to look at you."

Billy turned and looked at Steve for a moment and then turned back to the bookcase. He pulled out the first volume in Gibbon's series and left his back to Steve.

"You wanted me to be looking at you?" Steve asked.

Billy shrugged.

"You wanted me to look at you because you made yourself look special for me?"

Billy shrugged.

"You always look amazing to me," Steve said, climbing out of bed and coming to stand next to Billy. "Every moment of every day, it's a struggle for me not to be staring at you. I want to look at you every moment and I want to come and stand with you wherever you are. It's not that I didn't look at you today it's that I didn't let myself look at you today."

"It's stupid to want you to."

"I'm looking at you now," Steve said.

"I know it's stupid," Billy said again. "I know we can't do this publicly but I still want it."

"I want it all the time," Steve told him, pressing into Billy's back and wrapping his arm around Billy to hold the blond to him with a hand splayed over his heart. "I love you, Billy."

"What?" Billy asked, feeling like all of the air had been sucked from the world.

"I love you. I don't want you to say anything until you want to but I want you to know that I do, that that's why I always want to be looking at you. I wish I could press you into a locker and kiss you. I want to sneak under the bleachers with you and make out. I want to take you to dances and send you roses on Valentine's Day. I want to do all of that and I know I can't so I spend all my time deliberately not looking at you, deliberately not thinking about how much I want all of that when we are out. So, when I get you alone, I think about nothing else."

"I want to do all that too," Billy mumbled.

"I'm glad you came over."

Billy twisted around and pulled Steve into a rough kiss. Steve held on, kissed back, and then pulled Billy over to the bed, pressed him back, waited for Billy to kick off his shoes, and then followed Billy into bed. Steve wrapped them up in the covers, wrapped himself around Billy and kissed him soft and sweet. The sound of the mixed tape surrounded them as Billy settled into Steve's attention, basking in it and, finally, let it sooth the day away.

"Steve," Billy mumbled.

"Yeah?"

Billy pressed closer. "I…I'm…"

"I got you a present too," Steve said.

"Yeah?" Billy asked, not moving away and enjoying the way that Steve's voice rumbled in his ribs.

Steve nodded. "Don't wanna move though."

Billy pressed a kiss into Steve's skin and closed his eyes. "In the morning."

Steve was sitting up in bed next to Billy when the alarm went off to let Billy know he needed to get home before his father woke up.

"You feel asleep before me," Billy mumbled.

Steve shrugged. "It's always on."

Billy blinked up at Steve for a moment, trying to understand what Steve was saying. He really needed to be careful about how hard he slept when he was at Steve's place; in case he did it at Neil's house. Steve…Steve left an alarm on for five in the morning every day even though he didn't need to wake up…that meant…

"Why?" Billy asked.

"In case you came over too late and I didn't wake up enough to think about it."

Billy shoved off the blankets and went to get out of bed but Steve rested a hand on his shoulder.

"I don't like to see you hurt," Steve said. "So, I have it on and it's okay because I can go back to sleep and you can't. Now, I have something for you before you go."

Billy sat back down and Steve smiled, he held out a hand curled around something and paused.

"Steve?"

"Would you be okay to close your eyes?" Steve asked, voice hesitant.

Billy took a deep breath and slowly closed his eyes. He felt Steve's hand on his elbow, drifting up all the way to his ear. Steve massaged Billy's ear for a moment and then something dropped over his head, Steve easing the way over Billy's ears and then flicking his hair over. Billy felt it settle around his throat. Steve pressed his hand over the metal.

"I wasn't sure," Steve said. "If you'd be able to wear it so just shake your head if you can't."

Billy opened his eyes slowly. He moved Steve's hand out of the way and lifted the necklace, there was an arrow attached.

"An arrow?"

Steve nodded. "Yep, happy anniversary."

"An arrow?"

Steve smiled, he leaned forward and kissed Billy.

"You need to go home. I'll see you at school, I'll make sure to look good for you."

Billy smiled and kissed Steve, he grabbed his shoes and headed out of the room, feeling the metal against his skin. He smiled as he jumped Steve's fence and walked through the short stretch of woods to his car. He drove home, rolling down the hill and parking in front of the house. He slipped out of the car, closing the door softly and then ducking low and rushing around to his bedroom window, he listened quietly for a forty beat and then slid the window open and climbed silently into the room. He kicked off his shoes, changed into pyjamas and then slid into bed. He waited until he heard his father's alarm go off and then climbed out of bed. He went to the kitchen and started the coffee and breakfast for everyone. When his father came out of the shower, the breakfast was on the table. Susan came out a few minutes later, followed by Max who loudly thanked him for the breakfast before sitting in her spot. Billy sat down and ate with everyone, getting up to clean the table, wash the dishes and tidy the kitchen while Susan and Neil got ready for work. When they left, he went down the hallway and showered before dressing and coming out of find Max sitting at the table.

"You ready?" Billy asked, looking around the rooms he could see to make sure he'd done all of the work needed before they left.

"Yeah."

Billy nodded and went back to grab his jacket before he led her out of the house and took her to school. He drove into the high school carpark to see Steve already there, leaning against his car. Billy parked next to him and looked out of the window up at King Steve.

"Hey pretty boy."

Steve preened a little at the words and Billy took a moment to enjoy the view, including the fucking incredible hair that he wanted to get his fingers in right now.

"Not sure if I'm the right one to have that name," Steve said quietly when Billy finally climbed out of his car.

Billy smirked. "Oh, you know you are, princess."

Steve flushed and looked away, biting back a smile. Steve walked over and bumped Billy's shoulder before he led them into the school.

"Carol's having a party tonight," Billy said.

"Let's ditch it and hang out together."

Billy felt good walking into the school, knowing everyone was looking at them and wanting them, or to be them, and knowing that the man next to him was in love with him…Steve Harrington was fucking in love with Billy Hargrove and the proof of it was hanging around his neck.

**The End**


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